an analyzation and railing against "myspace bands"

Urban Dictionary definition of "Myspace Band":

1.	Myspace Band
	1. A band whose popularity comes from their popularity on myspace.com, thus lacking any REAL credibility in today's music scene. This lack of credibility comes from the simplicity through which their popularity is achieved: record songs with decent sound quality, take some pictures of yourself, and add as many friends as possible. This formula thus saturates the music scene with hundreds of thousands of bands that will never make it. Those that do, will have no lasting value. These bands typically will eventually replaced by a newer, more hip, band (See also: flavor of the week). 2. A band followed typically by only the "myspace generation" Myspacer1: "Brah, I'm telling you,(insert name of current flavor of the week band here) will be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame one day." LogicalGuy: "That myspace band, or any other myspace band for that matter, will ever be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame"

Last night I went out with some friends to more or less finally see a band that we all talk a lot of smack about...basically to give them a fair chance.

What I encountered was more than disturbing, so please brace yourselves:

For starters, I am in a band myself. We love playing music, and we try everything we can to be genuine and not fake anything. That being said, we have to rely on myspace to get our music out to people, as do hundreds and thousands of both famous and local (such as we are) bands.

If you have not frequented myspace for a while, good for you. Lord knows I deleted my personal account years ago and even the band one doesn't see too much action. That being said, for those of you who are unfamiliar how a myspace band page works: you have a player with your songs on it, and the number of times your songs have been played next to each title. At the bottom of the player it lists the number of total plays you have. In the middle of your page is also your friend count, or, how many other myspace profiles are linked to yours.

Generally these two numbers can be used to gage how popular a band is. Well...no, not anymore.

For instance: We have 2646 "myspace friends" (saying myspace so much makes me cringe I feel like a 16 year old girl), and 14,000ish total plays of our songs.

The band I am ranting about has: OVER 1,000,000 total plays of their songs, along with OVER 31,000 myspace friends, along with over 12,000 comments on their page (TKB has about 400?).

So anyways, my friends and I went to check out this band that has played in the area a fair number of times, easily more than TKB has. So seeing these numbers, I am expecting at least 100-200 swooped hair teen-emo kids. We get there, they start playing. There are 4 kids that came to see them. Let me say that number again. 4 kids. 4 kids who were actually watching the band (sitting down @ a table, mind you).

To start bring this together, let's go over the facts:

BAND A (the one I'm ranting about)

friends: +31,000

comments: +12,000

plays: +1,000,000

kids at their show actually watching: 4

I haven't taken a math class since senior year in high school, but to me, those numbers simply do not add up.

BUT WAIT. Here is the catch. Unknowingly to a lot of younger kids who do not have bands (1/4 kids on myspace?), there are "bots". Bots are simply this: kids (or programs) that enable you to have hundreds and thousands of plays per pay (or per song), along with comments and friends. A tell tail sign that a band is using a bot is one of two ways:

1. Scroll through their comments and see how many are actually from kids. Better yet, kids that commented the band before the band spammed them with "Hey we're The LollyPop Gang and we have a new record out! Check us out and tell your friends!". Also note how many of the comments are more band spammers/general spam.

2. Their myspace player lists 1,000,000 total plays, the band has had a myspace for less than 2 years, and their actually DAILY play count is 9.

A main point of doing this, is so when said myspace band spams a record label with their crappy music and press kit and myspace link via email, the band thinks "Oh, the record label will see our myspace page and all our friends and comments and plays and sweet hair cuts and outfits that they'll just HAVE to sign us! I mean, we are SO LEGIT!".

Unfortunately for all these bands, record labels are NOT as dumb as the myspace band is, and are more than aware of their bullcrap tactics.

Whereas if you check out some up and coming bands I really dig, such as All Get Out and All the Day Holiday, you will not find millions of (fake) plays, millions of (fake) friends, or millions of (spam) comments. What you will find if you go to their myspace is music. Real. Genuine. Music.

And THAT is why THEY are on legit labels, and do all the sweet things that they do. Because they actually give a crap about music, and not about myspace.

I think if bands started to care more about making music that is genuine, and stopped worrying about their online image, it would be right around the same time hell would freeze over.

The lesson: bands can fake the number of friends, plays, and comments all they want, but the number of people at your show, and the number of kids that are actually into it, does not lie. At all.

it's hard to be the better man, when you forget you're trying

I wrote and then rewrote this blog over a course of several hours. One version was a good 3 microsoft word (single spaced) document. The other was a simple sentence. So hopefully this is a good mix of the two.

At times, I am one of the most over-confident person I know. To the outside eye, I know what I am doing, and I back everything I say 100%. But, as Big Daddy would say, "BULL".

I am deathly scared of trying my hardest to fight off my demons, without anyone ever telling me good job.

I am even more scared of trying to be a gentleman to women, but no girl I love ever saying to me "You know, I really do think you're amazing because you honestly try and treat me as a girl should be treated."

To me, I see soo many dudes being jerks to girls, and soo many girls being totally okay with it. Dudes shutting up their conscience to use girls so they can get what they want, and girls shutting up their conscience so they can give guys what they want...for whatever the reasons are.

If there is one thing I can honestly say I have consistently tried to be better at in my life, it's being a gentleman. But sometimes it is soo freaking hard to do. Sometimes I think "What if no one even notices that I try? What if no one CARES that I try? What if I treat a girl the way (I believe) she should be treated and she goes back to dudes that just don't care like I do? That just use her for what they want." then I think "What's the point of trying so hard like I do if no one is ever even going to care?".

I'm not saying perfect by any stretch of the imagination, Lord knows I struggle every day to do this, and I know it's awful to compare myself to others.

But I can't help thinking: what's the point of trying to be a better man if you never actually make a dent in someone's life in a positive way? What's the point in trying if no one ever cares that you tried?

Sometimes I just feel like I will always be taken for granted in this regard.

And I know the point of living a good life is not to have people pat you on the back and tell you "Good job" all the time. But sometimes it'd be nice to feel noticed. I think.

build your heart of diamonds and you won't need no ring

For those of you who have known me for a long time, you know that I go through spouts of depression.

For those of you who don't know me at all, I go through spouts of depression. They're never triggered by anything, and sometimes they can go months without even occurring. But at random times throughout my life I feel what can only be described (as stupid as this sounds) as a cloud over my spirit, and a hurricane in my heart.

My freshman year of college was the best example for a too long spout of depression that ultimately resulted in me making some awful choices, and eventually getting kicked out of college.

This past week, plus now a few days I've felt this relentless depression/bipolar streak. In one hour I'll go from super happy to really sad and end up feeling that cloud for the rest of the day. And it really, really sucks.

Today was supposed to be a really fun day, but the whole time I was supposed to be enjoying myself, I felt my smile strain more and more because I did not want to be the idiot that lets his personal problems get in the way of a special day.

Depression is the worst (for me) when I am with someone I care about, then my head starts forming all this weird situations about what is actually going on. I would say 1/100 of what I think in this state is actually true. But either way, when I feel like this, I find it sooooo hard to trust people.

There's a line from a Matthew Good song

"Build your heart of diamonds and you won't need no ring"

And sometimes that is EXACTLY how I feel. I wish I could do that. I often feel that I have SUCH a soft heart, but have no good way at ALL of protecting it from the seemingly inevitable hurt of being vulnerable with those you care about.

But I know in my HEART underneath that damn rain cloud that caring about someone while not wanting or expecting anything in return is one of the best feelings I have ever felt.

Of course, someone caring about you back IS essential for functioning relationships, but you should already care about them regardless. Does that make any sense? I hope so, and if not it made sense to me in my brain.

Truly caring about someone, and enjoying who they are, with no expectations and refusing reciprocation's based on a feeling of obligation, not knowing if I will ever be good enough for anyone is one of the most terrifying thoughts to me.

Not knowing if anyone could, or will care about me as much as I care about other people looms over my heart sometimes just as much as joy and hope and love do. And it scares the hell out of me.

what would your Jesus compromise?

Disclaimer: if you're not either an active or passive Christian please don't read this blog, because this is a message for Christians and I don't want to get nonChristians confused or offend as to what I'm talking about.

I'm not saying you're dumb!!!! I'm just saying that I don't want to offend you, in case you might not entirely understand what I'm trying to say.

"It's only one time getting drunk, I'm in college, I just want to have fun!"

"I just know that God brought us together, so I think we should sleep together tonight. It's seriously not a big deal, we're just sleeping- not having sex! But maybe we just shouldn't tell anyone regardless..."

"Swearing? Really? Who cares! People swear all the time, Christians included!"

"It's okay self, it's just porn. No one will even know. Seriously."

"Dude it's just hookah, Christian's know how to have fun too!"

"It's only a blow job...seriously, it's not even sex."

Tell me the point of bearing the name of Jesus Christ if all we do is compromise?

As Christians, we want people to look at us and see the Holy Spirit, not a mirror imagine of the onlooker. I am so tired of Christians trying to appear cool or relevant to their nonChristian friends by compromising Truth.

My friend Todd once told me and several other people that were arguing once that "As Christians, we are called to live above reproach"...meaning this: If people on the street heard that you were going over to "sleep with our bf/gf", what's the first thing that comes to their mind? Of course it's sex. And of course you could try and convince them that you weren't actually going to have sex, but I believe you'll be hard pressed to find someone that thinks you wouldn't be doing everything aside from "actual" sex then. Living above reproach means that you will try to not give people that foothold over you, and attempt to display Christ (ie, not your own desires) in all facets of your life.

Why do Christians decide to be the sheep that they're trying to shepherd? My new harp for this/perfect example is hookah smoking.

(those two articles, one link with each different word, are 2 of thousands that exists saying that hookah is just as bad, if not actually worse than ciggerates. god forbid that people actually take their time to do their own research before believing the "word on the street")

"Oh yeah, it's not nearly as bad as cigarettes. At ALL" I can not count on both hands how many Christians have told me that in attempt to justify their compromise. Do they even BOTHER to do the research though? Of course they don't. Of COURSE they don't. It seems that when Christians get in these compromising states, they tend to follow the loudest, most confident, and usually the dumbest sheep.

I knew a (Christian) girl once who told me how disgusting she thought hookah smoking was, and how it's just a lame excuse for other Christians to try and be relatable and cool.

Ironically enough though, this same girl, getting involved with a new group of Christians, now smokes hookah on a fairly regular basis (or at least, a lot more than not doing it at all).

Isn't it fantastic and terrible how much people change to blend in with their surroundings?

When people ask questions about myself, in regards to what religion I am, I generally respond with "active Christian". Because each day I am trying to get rid of my vices that hold me back from Jesus Christ, and that hold me back from showing Himself in my life.

And so hopefully, when people such as those who have accepted Christ but don't bother to challenge, better, or overall attempt to live a life of no compromise (according to the Bible) can respond with "passive Christian. I am saved, I love God, but I love pleasing myself and being accepted by others more".

....It only would make sense.

Now please don't be a five year old think just because I picked out hookah smoking; that I think it's the worst thing ever, and hate everyone who's associated with it. OF COURSE I DON'T. I used to do it when I was a senior in high school because I wanted to be cool, hip, and relatable too!

I am using hookah smoking as just one of hundreds of possible examples that we as Christians bend the moral bar ever so slightly so that we appear cooler, relatable, hip, fun, etcetc to people who are not Christians.

And if you think as I think "Man, Chad is calling out all these Christians in these blogs and not even talking about how messed up he is, and I bet he's got a big ol' plank in his eye" you honestly could not be further from the truth. The reason I notice these things about Christianity is because I have been there, and I still struggle with them. But you best believe though that I'm still going to try to light a fire under myself and every Christian who actually believes in living a life of no compromise. Not to mention the list I comprised above of typical Christian compromising (that I've encountered), is a list I (for the most part) pulled from my own life.

So now you have to ask yourself:

So what would your Jesus compromise to feel better about himself?

jaded

i think it's one of the kindest things when people ask "where have you been?"

i wonder if God thinks the same thing.

i'm attempting to make this blog short and sweet:

i'm far from perfect, but i'm trying daily to fight off my demons.

the problem i have is with people that do not try to continuously better themselves, and are leaders in their church. i'm not just talking staff per-say, i'm talking all the way down to the people that lead a group of twenty people in a small Bible study, who are the spiritual mentor for one person.

i think people in the church would be truly shocked and appalled if they found out just how spiritually immature some of their leaders are.

it's not necessary "the blind leading the blind". it's more like "the stupid leading the people who refuse to open their eyes"

please do NOT mistake me for saying that our church leaders should be perfect. they will never be. none of us will ever be.

i am simply saying that i believe our leaders should be trying their best to lead a Christ filled life. i DON'T want someone who is leading my Bible study to be having the EXACT SAME struggles they had in high school. i want them to have NEW ones. i want them to be constantly bettering themselves. constantly fighting off their demons. especially if they are putting themselves in positions where they could be held responsible for someone else's spiritual growth.

"i don't believe in love anymore, not from those around me who have loved before. with their broken promises, and their failed attempts, and only when it's easy- come on, admit it."

-bradley hathaway

please click this link to be sure to read all of the text, I can't format worth crap!

http://i136.photobucket.com/albums/q188/underoath300/happy-couple.jpg

I could honestly go on for days about this. But I don't need to...I honestly think that picture says about all there is to say for me.

Well, all I want to say is this:

Coming to college, I only had one expectation. One thing I was almost certain would happen since at least 8th grade. It wasn't getting kicked out of college, it wasn't starting a band, it wasn't losing and gaining friends, it wasn't joining and then leaving an on campus church (etcetc); all I thought would happen is that I would find the girl that I would spend the rest of my life with.

I'm sure some of you read that and you're thinking "WHAT A SAP" or something along those lines. Trust me, I'm thinking the SAME THING. But regardless, that's what I always thought. That was the one expectation I had coming into college, and that's probably one of the only things both good and bad that hasn't actually even come close to happening.

Next Spring I will be getting ready to graduate, and Lord willing be getting ready to move on to a full time career. And I have this awful feeling like the one thing I thought for SURE would happen in college won't actually happen. Unless God performs some sort of miracle and literally points her out to me, and me to her?

My friend Libby told me something to the affect of "You have to be in love with a persons flaws just as much as you love the person". At the time I really didn't understand, or agree with her. But the more I thought about it, the more I understood what she was saying. It's that I need to be okay with a persons flaws, I need to NOT want to change someone, and love them EXACTLY how they are. To be honest, I never really knew that before. So maybe that will be sort of a flagship for me (is that the right use of that term even haha)?

All I know for sure is I don't want to settle. That's what my friend Jeff told me once he said "Never settle for a girl who you honestly, deep down in your heart, is exactly what you want. Flaws and all." (again, there's that loving someone who their flaws thing again! he told me this 2 years ago and it took all 2 years AND someone saying something very similar for me to finally get this)

Who knows?

It never ceases to blow my mind about just how wrong I am about everything, and how little I truly understand life.

Songs that might better explain how I feel. and are a lot greater and more entertaining and beautiful than me making this blog at an attempted focused subject of my ideas of love. well. idea is the wrong word, but i'm sure you know what I mean:

copeland- love is a fast song

iglu and hartly- out there

bradley hathaway- i don't believe in love

matthew good- empty's theme park

eye alaska- miles don't mean anything

i am a emotion junkie(?)

"An emotion junkie"

This is a phrase that I often think of to describe myself, but then totally forget about two seconds after I think of how and why.

I have had many conversations with my friend Justin Price, and they often strike me at odd times- days, weeks, or even years after they occur. I recall one conversation about a band called MuteMath, he was saying how he loves them, and I was saying how they don't really do it for me. I think they are a talented band, for sure, but they don't really have that "thing" for me.

He then said that he thinks it's because they're not emotional, or angsty, sad, or angry for me. I couldn't really tell if he was joking, and we both just blew it off and went on with the conversation. But last night while I was at a bar/club (the Cla-Zel) with my friend's Brian, Scott, and Brian's fiance Katey, it finally hit me what he was saying:

As I was listening to the cool, 80's music stop, and the house DJ start spinning, my mood suddenly went from stoked and happy to something similar to "What is this hell being laid on my ears?" as the tunes went from what sounded like Lil'Wayne to a million other dudes that sounded just like him, I was thinking "This music is so dull. There is no life to it. It's just going through the motions, with not a single ounce of emotion in it."

Then it hit me.

I walk around campus with my music playing, drumming on my legs, slightly to mildly head banging, adrenaline pumping, a smile on my face, not because I want to be entertained on the way to my next destination, but because I want to feel something. I want to feel stoked listening to Oh, Sleeper, Underoath, The Devil Wears Prada. I want to feel excited about life, I don't want to feel nothing.

When I watch movies, I want to feel the same way. I love suspense- because I feel like I'm on the edge of my seat. I love movies like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Vanilla Sky, The Butterfly Effect, because they are emotional movies. You can't watch those movies and not feel moved and touched by the characters on the screen.

After school, I get in my car, plug in my ipod, and rock out on the way home, because of how it's making me feel. When I get home, I plug in my ipod into my laptop and turn on much mellower music because it makes me feel relaxed and some of it even makes me want to fall in love, or feel like I'm the verge of it (The Album Leaf, Bon Iver, The Civil Wars).

I have my ipod constantly on play not because I want to be entertained by music, but because I want music to move me. I want music to make me feel.

This is why I can't stand typical club music, because there just isn't any feeling to it. Or why I can't watch sports on TV, or just TV in general, because there's just no feeling in it. Yes, TV and sports can be emotional, but they rarely ever actually make me feel anything.

From all of this, I call myself an emotion junkie. From the Chet Early Dictionary, 2010 1st Edition:

emotion junkie: someone who constantly wants to feel powerfully moved in an emotional way. light to mild cases take the place of people consistently moving themselves via mediums such as art, books, music, movies.

So I don't know yet if this will positively or negatively affect my life, but I do know now that it is a huge part of it, and I can't help but wonder if there are other people like this too.

I can count the times where it has been a burden to me though, cases where I will be extremely stoked on life, through listening to music, and be on this huge high- only for something during the day to go horribly wrong. This causes something like a bipolar feeling within me. I got straight from that amazing high to just feeling absolutely terrible in a matter of seconds.

Anyways, this is just how I see it. And my attempt to do a little bit of psychology on myself.

I believe that one of the keys to living the best, and most happiest life you can- is continuously try to understand yourself.

If Elvis Can Get to Know Fans, So Can You: An Analyzation of the Disconnect Between Smaller Touring Bands, Their Fans, & Why They Might Not "Make It"

I've been to my fair share of shows lately (mainly because TKB seems to be having a lot, not because I'm rich. Ugh.) and I've noticed something that is slightly concerning to me.

There is a total disconnect between bands and the kids that are coming out to support them.

Let me explain:

I understand that a band gets to a certain point and they simply can't take out time everyday to hang out with all the kids that went to see their concert. Really, I do. I also get that bands want privacy, and just want to be treated like normal people (well, that's most bands, excluding Brand New I think? I've heard they will only talk about music).

But when you're a fairly small band, to the point of you are relying on the local bands to get the general portion of kids out, I don't think there is any excuse for you to not be as nice as humanly possible to them. Because really, they are the only reason you can do what you are doing. You're not on MTV, you're not on the radio, you have no sponsors to speak of, no real label support, no ad campaign. You just have your music, your band, and your fans.

So why on earth would you just sit behind your merch table, with your headphones on playing air bass, be outside smoking a cigarette with other members of your band, texting friends back home---doing everything except going up to the kids that came out to support you and showing them how thankful you are that they came all this way to listen to music, and that you hope they even stay for your band, since a lot of them came to hear the locals anyways.

I think this is one enormous factor that is changing the face of music. Smaller touring bands (that fall under the category of bands that have to rely on locals) think that:

a) Because they're on tour, they must be really on their way to make it.

b) Because they're on tour, they don't owe it to the kids that listen to their music to take a few minutes and actually get to know them.

c) Because they're on tour, they have the right to bash the bands that are bringing out the kids for them.

All of these conceptions could not be more wrong. I am sooo sick and tired of seeing these bands on tour not pay a second of attention to a kid. Or to even humble themselves and just SAY "Hey, I know you came for the local band, but I was really hoping you could stay for us- it would mean soo much!"

Bands wonder why they won't ever "make it" and I propose to you that this is one of the biggest problems. They are forgetting that they are not these big rock stars that don't owe anyone anything, and they get far too caught up in the cynicism of music to realize how blessed they are and to make the most out of the opportunity they have.

I feel that if a band truly wants to get to the point where their music pays the bills, they must realize how important the people that are coming out to their shows, buying their shirts, and buying their music are. They need to sport an attitude of thankfulness, as opposed to one where they take everything for granted.

Because (I think) that if you're in a smaller touring band, and don't have it in you to get off your butt, put down your ego, and socialize with the kids at your show- you might as well just not tour, and give up on music as a possible financially supporting lifestyle.

Because as of right now, contrary to what your attitude shows, it is faaaaar from being just about you.