i think it's one of the kindest things when people ask "where have you been?"
i wonder if God thinks the same thing.
i'm attempting to make this blog short and sweet:
i'm far from perfect, but i'm trying daily to fight off my demons.
the problem i have is with people that do not try to continuously better themselves, and are leaders in their church. i'm not just talking staff per-say, i'm talking all the way down to the people that lead a group of twenty people in a small Bible study, who are the spiritual mentor for one person.
i think people in the church would be truly shocked and appalled if they found out just how spiritually immature some of their leaders are.
it's not necessary "the blind leading the blind". it's more like "the stupid leading the people who refuse to open their eyes"
please do NOT mistake me for saying that our church leaders should be perfect. they will never be. none of us will ever be.
i am simply saying that i believe our leaders should be trying their best to lead a Christ filled life. i DON'T want someone who is leading my Bible study to be having the EXACT SAME struggles they had in high school. i want them to have NEW ones. i want them to be constantly bettering themselves. constantly fighting off their demons. especially if they are putting themselves in positions where they could be held responsible for someone else's spiritual growth.
"i don't believe in love anymore, not from those around me who have loved before. with their broken promises, and their failed attempts, and only when it's easy- come on, admit it."
-bradley hathaway
I could honestly go on for days about this. But I don't need to...I honestly think that picture says about all there is to say for me.
Well, all I want to say is this:
Coming to college, I only had one expectation. One thing I was almost certain would happen since at least 8th grade. It wasn't getting kicked out of college, it wasn't starting a band, it wasn't losing and gaining friends, it wasn't joining and then leaving an on campus church (etcetc); all I thought would happen is that I would find the girl that I would spend the rest of my life with.
I'm sure some of you read that and you're thinking "WHAT A SAP" or something along those lines. Trust me, I'm thinking the SAME THING. But regardless, that's what I always thought. That was the one expectation I had coming into college, and that's probably one of the only things both good and bad that hasn't actually even come close to happening.
Next Spring I will be getting ready to graduate, and Lord willing be getting ready to move on to a full time career. And I have this awful feeling like the one thing I thought for SURE would happen in college won't actually happen. Unless God performs some sort of miracle and literally points her out to me, and me to her?
My friend Libby told me something to the affect of "You have to be in love with a persons flaws just as much as you love the person". At the time I really didn't understand, or agree with her. But the more I thought about it, the more I understood what she was saying. It's that I need to be okay with a persons flaws, I need to NOT want to change someone, and love them EXACTLY how they are. To be honest, I never really knew that before. So maybe that will be sort of a flagship for me (is that the right use of that term even haha)?
All I know for sure is I don't want to settle. That's what my friend Jeff told me once he said "Never settle for a girl who you honestly, deep down in your heart, is exactly what you want. Flaws and all." (again, there's that loving someone who their flaws thing again! he told me this 2 years ago and it took all 2 years AND someone saying something very similar for me to finally get this)
Who knows?
It never ceases to blow my mind about just how wrong I am about everything, and how little I truly understand life.
Songs that might better explain how I feel. and are a lot greater and more entertaining and beautiful than me making this blog at an attempted focused subject of my ideas of love. well. idea is the wrong word, but i'm sure you know what I mean:
I love that the first thing you wrote is that you were making this short and sweet. lol This is three days of reading, so I will work on it.
ReplyDeleteThis is very interesting, Chad, and in my eyes it merits further discussion. I'd be happy to partake if the opportunity arises.
ReplyDeleteBeing a person who does not adhere to any form of organized religion (yet is quite spiritual), I believe you can apply a lot of your questioning and challenges to existence and society in general – there is MUCH to be said about what we encounter every day and what we see as our greater life purpose.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who are stupid themselves, yet they choose to lead the blind. And there are those who are responsibly leading by inspiring, not by preaching what they don't know.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who wouldn't dare try and better themselves in any given moment. And there are those who truly want to continuously better themselves.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who preach much louder than they act. And there are those who say nothing and do the right thing without hesitation or a desire for notice.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who claim they know everything because it was told to them in a book or in a place of worship. And there are those who make religion and spirituality their own.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who constantly throw away the concern and care others are willing to give. And there are those who will receive it with open arms.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who are blinded by one way of thinking and living that has been found to be practical. And there are those who won't let themselves settle into an unchanging mentality.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who attribute their own mental and physical fabrications to the supernatural without pause. And there are those who know that they the supernatural is nothing we can perceive or connect with our lives in the tangible way many people do.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who smother themselves with what a standardized ideology dictates to be the norm. And there are those who make room.
There are people everywhere, of all creeds, who are waiting for opportunity to knock at their door or who recklessly go out looking for it. And there are those who let happen what may *without expectations*.
yo chad, just saw this on alex's wall and thought i'd chime in, sorry if this is considered eve's dropping since I wasn't really tagged. First off, I am not one to give spiritual guidance, cuz i'm not even sure were I'm at on that sort of thing. But listening to you, a thing to consider would be just to take a break from what you've been doing and try something new. Who knows, perhaps you will gain a greater appreciation for what you currently have, or maybe will experience something you can incorporate.
ReplyDeleteI do feel a little more confident talking about the relationship topic. First off, don't sweat it that after hearing a piece of advice it took two years to sink in. There is no teacher like experience, and for some reason when it comes to relationships, this saying becomes twice as true. Upon hearing others advice, often times it is very hard to understand, perhaps it is because love is one of the most complicated things in this world. (and one of the most simple oddly enough, but again, that's a lesson time will teach.) However there is a piece of advice I would REALLY like to emphasize to you. Never let yourself feel rushed. Many people seem to have set the same goal of meeting their soul mate in college. This is silly. Setting a time limit causes you to feel like you're failing. When you feel like you're failing you get desperate. When you get desperate you make mistakes. I was going through a similar phase in high school. I was freaking out cuz here I was about to graduate and I had never had a real girlfriend. Then Jenna came along and I was so excited I ignored about a million red flags. We all saw how that turned out...but I learned a TON. And that's really what life's about man, experiencing new things and learning and enjoying as much as we can, while staying true to ourselves and our moral code, whatever it may be. Anyways I got to college and wasn't worried at all about finding a girl, and that's when Melissa and I started talking, and we've been together ever since. That's not to say our relationship is perfect and we're so great at it, heck we have plenty of problems, but at the end of the day I know I'm with someone I love and loves me back, and it's all good bro. So I guess in an overall conclusion my advice would be to step back and take a few breaths. Try something new and have faith that things will turn out alright. Rarely in my life has worrying ever brought me happiness or gain. All the best man, things will work out for ya :)
-Justin
this was awesome :-)
ReplyDelete--ryan v.